I Guess I should have mentioned…

I gave you last week off because I realized something. If you had taken my advice and spent a night interior camping in the Awesomeness that is Killarney you probably spent it cursing me because I forgot to mention a few minor details.

First off, there are BEARS in them there woods my friend! Luckily after watching the news incessantly and seeing no stories on bear maulings I assume you made it home. A few points of clarification are needed here.

Interior camping has its own set of rules and unique challenges. You cannot just haul your cooler into the woods and just plop it down in the middle of your campsite for three days. The first problem with this idea is you shouldn’t even have a cooler out there. It is like a big neon sign that flashes, “Hey BEAR all you can eat buffet here and it comes with people for dessert!”

All of your food, beverages and toiletries (yes bears eat toothpaste) need to be put in a backpack and strung up in a tree so the wildlife can’t get to it. Bears can climb trees so you have to pick a branch that is sturdy and is at least 15 feet off the ground. You also need to hang your bag at least 8 feet from the trunk of the tree. In the event that a bear does pop by for a friendly visit at least you will get a good video of Mr. Bear dangling off the base of the tree 15 ft in the air desperately trying to swat at your food but never quite getting it. It should be obvious but take the video from a really safe distance! This is NOT Winnie the Pooh people!

This little tidbit of information probably would have been helpful, sorry about that. On the bright side the next time you venture out you will be introduced to a brand new riveting game of “Let’s try to tie a rope around a rock and throw the rock really high and over a branch!” Let me tell you, this game is just hours of entertainment and you get to play it several times a day!

Oh and another AWESOME piece of info: There are no toilets and you need to dig a hole and remember to bring TP.

So when you stop screaming expletives at me and start to feel the camping fever taking hold once again do some research. Next week we are going to Frontenac! It is completely AWESOME…eh!

This article is the sixth in a series by author Brian Duff entitled “In A Different Camp”