The results of Super Tuesday and the whole electoral process so far have left many feeling nervous especially the countries that promised help emigrating should Trump win the election. But the fact remains, Donald quite literally Trumps the competition. Both in the polls and his manhood.

With more and more American’s claiming that they will move to Canada if Trump is elected, Canada is taking precautions to prevent a tragedy from the influx of stupidity.

Stupid too harsh of a word? No, what other way do you describe a group of people who majorly elect someone they don’t like to be captain, then jump ship? How else do you describe people so afraid to accept refuges, yet when they hit misfortune expect people to welcome them with open arms they didn’t open for others? But I digress.

Canada actually is in fact willing to welcome Americans to the country, but there is a catch. Particular standards need to be met in order to gain entry, nothing fancy, or hard, just the basics that any American should know about themselves and the world, which of course means there is a high chance they’re clueless to concept.
The Canadian standards that must be met are below. And each must be passed in order to be admitted into Canada.

Provision one: If you’re traveling 60kph, how long will it take you to travel 1 kilometer? Sounds easy? Well the new American common core system will insure that it isn’t. They’ll probably do something stupid like break 60 into 60 individual parts then count them only to get 60 again, to finally start solving the problem or something, point being, most won’t pass.

Provision two: On what continent is the United States located? You’d be surprised how many people will respond Africa or some shit.

Provision three: Name a country that starts with a “U”. This one is sure to stump them.

Provision four: What language do you speak? Nice and fair question shouldn’t have trouble answering it, oh wait, we’re talking about Americans.

That’s it! As you can see the list is short and concise and definitely fair, maybe not for the Americans, but hey, somethings got to give, and the rest of the world shouldn’t have a problem!

P.S. Happy April Fools Day!

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